


the tradgedy of Butt Flap, PhD

by bigbidumbass, megusan



Category: 1917 (Movie 2019)
Genre: Crack Fic, M/M, Other, Poor Tom, butt flap POV, butt flap love, butt flap representation, fucking guns, fucking!, ultimate shakespeareian betrayal babies, we will not apologise for this work of art
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:34:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24533158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigbidumbass/pseuds/bigbidumbass, https://archiveofourown.org/users/megusan/pseuds/megusan
Summary: Deep in the trenches, I, the lonely butt flap, was released from my prison. I have one mission, defend my lover's ass. This is my story.
Relationships: Tom Blake & William Schofield, william schofield & Butt Flap
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	the tradgedy of Butt Flap, PhD

**Author's Note:**

  * For [all the butt flaps out there trying their best](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=all+the+butt+flaps+out+there+trying+their+best).



Dawn had approached when I was released from my dirty confinements. I had no idea where the fuck I was, but it was probably in a nasty, stinky corner trench that no one used, and I watched as the two men fumbled around like fucking idiots. They were fucking GAY. Good for them!

“oi,” I said. 

“What the fuck was that,” said the dumbass with brown hair. Will, my lover, my owner, my life, shushed him.

“Don’t worry about that,” he said. “It was probably the wind.”

“You realise I can hear you dipshits,” I said.

“And?” Will asked. “Fuck off, we’re busy.”

The boy with brown hair was looking very disturbed, and he ripped himself away.

“Right, what’s going on?” Tom inquired.

Schofield rolled his eyes. “Listen, it just does that,” he told the boy.

“Really?” the boy asked.

“Yeah, just ignore it,” my lover replied.

Er- alright, I suppose,” the boy said, reaching towards me.

I, the butt flap, whispered as the shorter boy unbuttoned me slowly: "slut"

I was finally being freed, I felt the cold wind on my fibres, as the brown haired boy’s nimble fingers unbuttoned me from my position and let me fall. I screamed. They didn’t hear me.

“Can your butt flap stop being a dramatic little bitch,” the brown guy said.

“No, not really. I’ve lived with it my whole life,” will replied.

“Yikes,” was all the brown haired boy could reply with.

I was ignored, like a fucking dog, as the brown haired boy entered my lover fericiously. I squawked for help, but no one answered. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Who was I, a glorious butt flap, to be treated this way? Had I not done everything I should? Had I not comforted my love, Will, in times of need? And yet, here he was, tossing me aside like rubbish, a slutty piece of TRASH! What the fuck!

“Oi bitch,” I shouted out, the little slut turned to face me.

“Wat”

“Take this” I summoned all my strength I had, used it to swing myself up, and whip him on the dick. The audible snap reverberated for miles. I watched smugly as his dick swung right off of him, severed.

“AAAAAA” he screamed, clutching his groin. “Fuck, what the fuck!”

Will looked back in concern, kinda pissed off that he wasn’t getting fucked.

“Can you not bleed out right now? I’ve got shit to do,” Will complained.

Tom’s eyebrows furrowed, wasn’t it his slutty butt flap that caused the damage?

“I literally don’t have a dick,” he pointed out. Will nodded, fair.

He would pay.

The boy with the brown hair cocked his rifle, and shot at me like a fucking german. A fucking loud sound came out, and the bullet ripped me from my seams. Unfortunately, it also shot my lover in the ass. Fucking trash.

My lover screamed, gripping the wound with his gigantic hands.

“You’ve just shot me in the ass!! What the hell are you doing!!”

“Soz bro.”

And they both stood, one with a cut off dick, the other with a fucking bullet up his ass. This was some romeo and juliet shit. I had to save my lover.

“Will,” I whispered, crawling over to him, shredded from the ultimate betrayal, on my last thread.

“Will you write to my mum?” Will asked, voice weak, eyes drooping.

“Fuck no,” I said, “I’m a fucking butt flap for fucks sake. I don’t have opposable thumbs”

“Oh ok then,” said will. Then he died.

I sobbed over him, watching the life fade out of his eyes, the way I had faded in importance in his life when the slut arrived. It was all that dirty bitch’s fault, the boy with blue eyes, and I would not go out with a fight. I used my last ounce of power to grab the rifle, and i shot him in the fucking dick, twice.

“Eat it, slut,” I whispered. I took one last glance at the two fuckers, and died like a hero.


End file.
